


songs for revelations

by weatheredlaw



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Developing Relationship, F/M, Fallout Elements, Guns, Marriage of Convenience, Multi, Post-Nuclear War, Post-War, Slow Burn, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-03 07:54:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13336779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weatheredlaw/pseuds/weatheredlaw
Summary: In an irradiated future frontier, Magnus and Lup enter into a marriage of safety and convenience, all to mask their ulterior motives. Lup desires to find her brother and twin, Taako, who left to seek a fortune, swearing to send for Lup when it was safe. Magnus plans to travel to Ravens Roost, his wife Julia's hometown, to start a new life. But the world they live in is violent, and fraught with dangers. They will need all the cleverness between them, and the help of new companions they gather along the way, if they are to survive their journey.





	1. fold out your hands (lup)

**Author's Note:**

> _phew._ wow. okay this was a wild ride. i wrote this in a whirlwind, and a very special things to bluemoodblue and marywhal for taking a good look at this and going over it with a red pen. it's the start of a ten chaptered venture into what i'm called soft post-apocalypse. i really hope you enjoy the relationship dynamics i'm planning to build here as well as these themes i've been really wanting to explore.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And he wanted to give her this, he--
> 
> Magnus suddenly leaned forward, and said very quietly, “I can give you that freedom. And you can give me mine.”

_bury your thoughts and doubts, and fall asleep_

 

* * *

 

It was a strange day when Lup found something worth watching from their kitchen window, but in the Professor’s garden next door, there were rabbits.

She hadn’t seen rabbits in a long time.

Auntie scattered flour on the kitchen table and said, “Stop stirrin’ that dough, girlie, you’ll undo all the hard work it did.”

Lup tore her gaze away from the scene outside and dumped the dough onto the table. “There are rabbits in the Professor’s garden.”

“Are there now? Don’t see them too often. Must be a new litter.” Her aunt handed her the jar of flour. “Give it a good knead, love.” Lup nodded and covered her hands. Auntie went to the window. “Well, look at that. Three of ‘em. Professor won’t be happy to find ‘em there. I’ll go next door and shoo ‘em off. No sense in killing today.” She wiped her hands on her apron and headed out.

Lup turned away and began working the dough. Taako had told her once that five hundred kneads was good for a proper loaf, but he’d been better at keeping track while he counted than her, so she only did it for as long as her arms could last. Seemed to work just fine.

Auntie came back and closed the door behind her. “Looks good, love. You’re a natural.”

“Taako was the natural.”

“Well, Taako’s not here.” Auntie pulled down a canister of tea and peered inside. “Just enough,” she said.

Lup glanced over. “You having a party?”

“Hardly.” Her aunt sniffed. “Magnus Burnsides is comin’ over for tea.”

Lup stopped kneading. “Auntie, _no._ We talked about this.”

“No, _you_ snapped at me and never let me finish explaining myself. I’m not going to be around for too many more years, and you can’t live here alone--”

“I _can_ ,” Lup said. “Why is it that you think I can’t take care of myself?”

“I _do_ believe you can, but it’s the stupid things I know you’ll do once I’m gone that have me worried.” She planted a hand on either hip. “You know I love your brother. I love him dearly, and it breaks my heart he’s gone. But if he isn’t back, love, then you know he’s gone. Dead or otherwise.” She brought a hand to her brow. “I wish you wouldn’t make me say that. I really wish you wouldn’t.” Lup had stopped kneading, but her aunt pointed. “Finish the job.”

“Taako is out there,” Lup said, pushing hard into the dough. “He’s lost, if anything. Or in the city.”

“You’re not going to Neverwinter, that’s no place for a girl like you--”

“What does _that_ mean--”

“A girl with some damn _potential!_ ” Auntie sighed. “Magnus has money, girl. He has status and a _skill._ You think talent like his just grows on trees or out of the ground? It’s a gift! It’s a gift that’ll have you sittin’ pretty someday. You think he’ll stay here forever? You want to get out, Magnus Burnsides is your ticket. When somewhere decent crops up to live, he’ll go. And he’ll take his craft and _you_ with him.” She sighed. “I don’t know why you’re so opposed. He’s quite friendly towards you, and you him.”

“I don’t _love_ him.”

Auntie scowled. “Oh, what’s love got to do with anything, hm? Has it helped anyone lately?”

“I’m not marrying someone I don’t love,” Lup said. She picked up the bread and slammed it onto the table. “And I think Magnus would be inclined to agree.”

“Why’s that?”

“He was _in love_ with Julia.”

Auntie huffed. “Where was love when the fever came for her, hm?” She put a hand on Lup’s arm. “Magnus is good and decent. He’d never touch you if you said you didn’t want it. He’d never force you into anything. This world is terrible, Lup. Sometimes it helps to have someone watchin’ our backs. Even if we don’t love ‘em.”

 

* * *

 

Lup was born after the rains. Acid rain that fell for days. Whatever lingered in the air killed her mother was all Auntie said. Lup stopped asking.

Auntie wasn’t really anything but that. Lup had no idea if she and Taako were related to her, but she grew up at her feet, was raised in her home, ate the food off her table and learned to cook by her side. This world valued any living creature that could fend for themselves, and Auntie did good by both Lup and Taako that way.

When Lup told Auntie to call her by the right name and to use the right words when talking to her -- “Say _she_ would like more tea, auntie, if you please.” -- Auntie didn’t argue.

When Taako said he was going to go and make something of himself, Auntie didn’t argue.

And when Lup said two years before that she was going after her brother, after three years of silence, Auntie didn’t argue.

But she got sick that winter, and ever since she’d clung to Lup like a vise, afraid for her future, despairing over the fact that she might be alone. In a way, she was right to be frightened. Lup had always had her brother, and she’d always had Auntie. Being alone, in their world, could be dangerous.

And all the things she’d said were certainly true. And Lup did like Magnus well enough. He was very clever, and made wonderful things with his hands. Lup admired that. If Taako were around, Lup thought he’d like that, too.

Magnus and his wife, Julia, had come to their little town in the dirt just a few months after Taako left. They were exceedingly kind and generous, always fixing things for folks and cooking for their neighbors. Magnus opened up a little carpentry shop, but he could fix anything he put his hands on. Two winters back, Julia caught a fever, and never recovered. Magnus buried her in the spring, in the cemetery on the hill overlooking town. He still fixed things whenever people asked, but things got quieter in the shop.

Lup missed his laugh.

It was true that she was friendly with him. Perhaps Auntie had gotten the idea last fall, when Magnus had come by and spent all day repairing the front door. Lup had been baking, and they’d chatted idly with little pause, stopping to have a long lunch she’d made for them both. It had been the best day she’d had in a long time.

Since then, talking with Magnus had been easy. Sometimes when she ran her errands, she’d stop by his shop to bring him a spare loaf of bread, or see what he was working on that day.

That didn’t mean she wanted to _marry_ him.

Still -- Auntie wasn’t wrong. The world was tough. Having someone by your side couldn’t be a bad thing.

Having someone’s money, money to travel and take care of things when one was, say, making their way to Neverwinter. That couldn’t be a bad thing either.

Lup shaped her loaf and put it in the oven before going upstairs to change into something more suitable for a gentleman caller. The blue dress of her mothers, the one she’d worn to Ren’s birthday a few months before -- that would do. She pinned back her dark curls and settled on a pair of pearl earrings Taako had found some years back when he was salvaging. “Not real pearls,” he’d told her, because he could tell these sorts of things. “But real enough to make you look rich.”

Looking at her reflection, Lup didn’t think she looked rich at all. She still had flour on her nose, and a line of oil streaking her cheek. She cleaned her face and checked her hair before heading downstairs, just in time to answer the door.

Magnus Burnsides was, to his credit, very handsome. He stood too tall for their door and had to duck slightly to step inside, taking his hat off his head as he did. He was bronzed from the sun, with a smattering of freckles over a nose that had probably been broken a handful of times. His hands were warm and dry when he passed over his hat and said, “Afternoon, Miss Lup.”

“Good afternoon, Mr. Burnsides.”

“I appreciate the invitation,” he said, and followed her into their meager sitting room.

“My aunt’s idea.”

“Well, it’s kind all the same.”

Lup smiled. “Please, sit.”

“Alright.” Magnus settled onto the sofa just as Auntie came bustling in with a tray of tea. “It’s good to see you, Auntie.”

“And you, Mr. Burnsides. I saw you fixing the Professors fencing this morning, but I think you’ll have to look again. Lup saw rabbits, and I had to go over and chase them out to spare them, the poor dears.”

“Really? Well, I’ll see what I can do.” He added just a bit of milk to his tea. “Smells like someone’s baking.”

“Lup’s made a wonderful loaf. We bought flour last week from one of the peddlers, passing through.”

“They can still grow wheat up in Luskan,” Magnus said. “They’re lucky.”

“Well we’ve got rabbits,” Lup said, and put three sugar cubes into her tea. “I think that’s lucky, too. Don’t you?”

Auntie looked at her sharply, but Magnus smiled. “I sure do, Miss Lup.” He lifted his glass. “Cheers.”

Lup smiled. “Cheers.”

 

* * *

 

Auntie excused herself after a few minutes. Lup and Magnus continued to drink in silence until Magnus set down his cup and said quietly, “I suspect you know why I’m here?”

“I do.”

He nodded. “I also suspect you’re not entirely agreeable to the situation.”

“I’m not.” Lup set down her cup. “I don’t love you, Magnus. And I find it hard to believe you love me.”

He laughed. “No, Lup. I don’t. I care about you, a great deal. I consider you somewhat of a friend. But...love? No. Love escapes me, currently. I can’t seem to grasp it.” He lifted his cup again and took a sip. “But...companionship. Someone to rely on. I could manage that.”

Lup pressed her hands firmly against her knees. “I told myself I wouldn’t marry for convenience.”

“I suppose you told yourself you’d be gone by now, too. Didn’t you?”

Lup pressed her lips together. “Auntie got sick, we--”

“I know,” Magnus said. “There always something. The world tends to shut us out of the things we want most. Our world does, at least. I’m not promising that you’ll fall in love with me, Lup. I’m not promising that you’ll be happy either. I can’t make promises like that, because there’s nothing I can do to effect this world. But I can tell you this. I know there are things you want. Things you want to _do._ ” He reached out and took one of her hands.

 _So gentle_ , she thought. _For such big hands._

“I can give you those things. I can help you _do_ those things. Trust me,” he said, and looked right at her. “I can.”

Lup stared. He knew, she realized. He knew what she had been thinking, not twenty minutes ago, at her vanity.

And he wanted her to have it.

Briefly she wondered what she would have to do to get it, but remembered that this was _Magnus_. Not some man she’d never met, with a mind she didn’t know. Magnus was good and kind, like Auntie said.

And he wanted to give her this, he--

Magnus suddenly leaned forward, and said very quietly, “I can give you that freedom. And you can give me mine.”

He was gone from her space just as quick as he’d entered it, and he’d released her hand. It was just as well, Auntie had come back into the room, talking excitedly about the rabbits again. (“Two more! In the Professor’s garden.”)

She looked at them both. “Well? A good chat, then?”

Lup turned to her. “Yes,” she said, and looked back at Magnus.

Magnus reached into his pocket and produced a ring. It was small enough for her, and rather intricately carved. “I can get you something better, in time,” he said. “But I hope that it’s enough for right now.” He reached out and took her hand again, turning it over, palm facing up. “I am quite amicable to the idea of marrying you, Miss Lup. If you find yourself amicable as well. I’ll do right by you,” he added. “As right as I can.”

He placed the ring in her palm.

Lup smiled, and curled her fingers over it.

“Yes,” she said. “I am amicable, Mr. Burnsides.”

Magnus grinned. Before he left that afternoon, he asked if he could kiss her cheek, and Lup allowed it.

 

* * *

 

They married a week later. It was fast, all things considered, but no one saw the point in courtship. Everyone just saw a reasonable union, two people who could take care of one another. There hadn’t been much cause for celebration in a long while, so Lup enjoyed sitting at the head of the long set of tables next to Magnus. She enjoyed dancing with him as the sun went down, watching him laugh for the first time in a while.

It struck her that she could ask him to stay like this with her. That he would agree, maybe, and they could live this life together. Maybe she could even learn to love him.

He caught her staring, and reached out to take her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze before pulling her back to her feet for one last dance.

 

* * *

 

Magnus lived over his shop. He’d had a house with Julia, until she died. Lup remembered when he moved his things here. A family who’d just arrived moved into his old house. She wondered if anyone ever told them what happened there.

After the reception, they climbed the stairs together to the little flat above the shop. Magnus led the way, turning the knob and stopping before going inside.

“I’m gonna go back down,” he said. “Give you some time to yourself.” He held her suitcase with her handful of belongings and clothes in one hand, a gift of wine someone had made and given them in the other. He set both down just inside and moved so she could get past. Lup stepped into the living room and turned to him.

“I’ll only need a few minutes.”

“Then I’ll give you a few minutes.” He moved to touch her, but seemed to think better of it. “I have to get ready for the morning anyway.”

“No rest for us?”

“You’re welcome to rest as much as you’d like,” he said, and smiled before heading back downstairs.

Lup turned and lifted her suitcase and the wine. She stopped in the kitchen and set it on the table. Magnus had flour and a few other things that looked fresh. He must have bought them for her. Lup felt a twinge of guilt -- if it all worked in her favor, she wouldn’t be here long enough to use it. She wondered if he’d get angry. She’d never seen Magnus angry.

Abandoning that thought, she went into the bedroom and set her suitcase on the bed. She wore Auntie’s best yellow dress for her wedding. Carefully, she pulled it off and hung it. There was a copper tub in the corner, hooked up to a bit of crude piping, but she was too tired to put the work into running a bath tonight. Magnus would be back soon. Quickly, she changed and found two empty drawers in the dresser for her things.

Lup was sitting up in bed and brushing her hair when she heard Magnus come up the stairs. He moved around in the kitchen for a moment, found a new place for the wine before he knocked on the bedroom door.

“You’re okay,” Lup called, and he opened the door and stepped inside.

Magnus glanced around. “Looks like you’ve made yourself at home.”

“You made room for me.”

“Well. You know.” He looked down at his shoes, sliding his hands into his pockets. “Happy to.”

Lup nodded. She set her brush in her lap and considered her words carefully. “...Magnus, you know I don’t...I don’t feel--”

“I’m not going to ask you to sleep with me,” he said. “I don’t...I don’t want to. With you. I’m perfectly fine with us just...being what we are. I’ve got a bed downstairs to sleep on, I was just going to come up and change--”

“Don’t be stupid,” Lup said. “You’ll sleep up here.”

“I won’t make you uncomfortable--”

“I’ll decide what makes me uncomfortable, Magnus.”

She stood very close to him, daring him to step away. He didn’t. He brought his hands up to her shoulders, instead, and nodded.

“Alright,” he said. “I’ll just wash up.”

 

* * *

 

Magnus fell asleep quickly. Lup waited an hour, in case something woke him, but he seemed to be down for the night. Carefully, she got out of bed and padded through the flat, taking the stairs down into the shop slowly. There was a cash box somewhere behind the counter, she was sure. If she took a bit each night or whenever he was out for a few days, she’d have enough to get herself started, and Magnus wouldn’t notice.

The box was there, but it was locked. The key had to be close by, so she started pulling open drawers as quietly as she could, sifting through the contents. She found a few keys, but none small enough for the cash box. It wouldn’t be a huge loss if she didn’t find it tonight. She could always just wait and ask maybe tomorrow, he would probably tell her --

The light over the counter turned on and Magnus said quietly, “Key’s not down here.”

Lup turned, slamming a drawer shut as she did and scaring herself.

Magnus sighed. “What’re you doing, Lup?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t lie. Please.”

She glanced at the cash box. “I want to find my brother.”

“Taako.”

“Yes.”

Magnus went to the box and unlocked it with the little key he’d brought down with him. He showed the inside to her. “I’m not stupid,” he said. “I don’t keep my money behind the damn counter, locked in a box you could have unscrewed the lid off of.” He snapped it shut and dropped it on the floor. “I didn’t expect you to be stupid either.”

Lup scowled. “You said you knew I wanted things. You couldn’t expect me to think you meant all _this._ ” She gestured toward the shop.

Magnus pointed. “ _Hey._ I built this place with my two hands, you understand that? I made a life and a living here, and that would be enough for anyone.”

“I want to _leave_ \--”

“Yes, I know.” He bent down and picked up the cash box. “I want to leave, too.”

“...You do.”

Magnus nodded. “I do.”

“Where are you going?”

“Raven’s Roost,” he said, easily. “It’s where Julia was from. Rumor has it they’ve got good soil now. Be a good place to put down some roots. This town’s gonna dry up. Your aunt, the Professor, some of the other old timers.” Magnus shook his head. “They’ll be the last. No one’s settled here for two years. They’re not coming.” He sighed. “What were you gonna do with my money anyway, huh? Do you have the right clothes for what’s out there? What kind of boots do you have?”

“...Rain boots.”

“Right. Fantastic.” He tapped the top of the box. “Neither of us is ready for what’s out there.”

Lup folded her arms over her chest. “What _is_ out there, then? What are you so afraid of?”

Magnus considered her. It seemed for a moment like they were going to spend the night just staring at one another, but he looked away and said quietly, “Bandits. Loads of them. You’re safe here, you know. Out there, they aren’t interested in some no-name town with nothing to take. But once you get out there you’re _valuable._ You have things. You _are_ something.” He sniffed. “There’s animals, too. Dust storms. Heavy rains, in parts. When Julia and I came we…” He stopped.

Lup wondered if she’d pushed too far.

But Magnus gathered himself. “We need time to prepare and _you_ aren’t running off without telling your aunt. You’ll break her heart. If you leave, I’ll be expected to go after you. If neither of us come back, they’ll think we’re dead. I don’t _want_ people thinking I’m dead.”

Lup sighed and leaned against the counter. “So what’s the plan?”

Magnus looked away. “Three weeks,” he said. “At the end of this week, you tell your aunt I’ve been talking about Luskan. That I want to see what’s there. Tell her you tried to talk me out of it, but it seems I’ve got my heart set. We’ll be better prepared, have the things we’ll need.” He looked back at her. “Can you wait that long?”

Lup looked away, but Magnus surprised her, reaching out and turning her gaze back to him.

“Can you?” he asked, and Lup nodded. “Good,” he said. “Come on. Let’s get back to bed. It’s been a long day.”

 

* * *

 

Lup had wanted to tell him that, no, she couldn’t wait. She didn’t _want_ to wait. She’d done her waiting, three years of it. That next morning Magnus was already gone when she woke, and she stared at her reflection in the mirror before sitting down to plait her hair. The wooden ring he’d carved for her sat in a little porcelain dish on the vanity that had once belonged to Julia Burnsides. Lup picked up the ring and turned it over in her hands.

Carefully, she slid it on her finger. She could already hear Magnus downstairs, hammering away on something. Lup dressed and went into the kitchen. There was flour and salt, yeast and oil. Enough to make a few solid loaves and find someone willing to trade for a decent pair of boots. She put on Taako’s apron and set to work.

Magnus came upstairs at lunch and stood just outside the kitchen, watching.

“It’s not a show, Magnus.”

“You didn’t waste a minute, did you?”

Lup said nothing.

Magnus came in and made himself some lunch. He pulled his chair away from the table and watched her knead the fourth loaf of bread she was going to bake today, eating soup from a bowl and talking quietly about the other things they’d need to prepare.

“A tent, maybe two. The Professor has some. Sewing kit would be good.”

“I don’t sew.”

Magnus chuckled. “I wasn’t making assumptions. I sew.” He emptied his bowl and went to the sink to wash it clean and dry it before putting it away. “You think about what else we might need. I’ve got a few folks I can talk to this week.”

He turned and left the kitchen, heading back downstairs to the shop. Lup stopped working and listened, for just a bit. The bell over the door rang, and someone came in. She heard the high, sweet tones of a woman, Magnus’s gentle rumble and a soft bit of laughter.

She glanced down at her hand, where the ring was still on her finger, dusted with flour, smeared with oil.

Rosewood.

Auntie huffed and puffed and threw a tantrum over it -- but in the end, she agreed. It was best that Lup go with Magnus.

“He is your husband,” she said.

“Yes,” Lup agreed. They were bound by an oath they made to one another and a simple sheet of paper, and that was all. But married they were. Lup touched the ring on her hand under the table. “We’re gathering supplies for the journey.”

“You’ll need boots,” Auntie said, distracted.

Lup sighed. “I know.”

“And a tin.”

“A tin.”

“For carrying things. Collecting them. I don’t know. Tins are just... _good_ to have.” She left Lup in the kitchen by herself and didn’t come back for almost ten minutes. “I found it,” she said.

“What?”

“This.” She said a dented cookie tin on the table. “It was your mother’s.”

Lup felt her chest tighten. “...It was.”

“Yes. She didn’t leave much behind other than you two, the poor girl. Gods rest her soul. The clothes and things we had to sell, for money. But there were a few things I kept.” Auntie pried the lid off the tin. Inside there were only three things: a gold chain with a turquoise heart; a hair pin shaped like a butterfly, missing a few stones; and a train ticket, torn and used.

“She was on her way to the city. It was a different world even just that many years ago. I told her to stay, just until you were born. But she didn’t recover as fast as I thought, and we...well. You know.” Auntie sighed. “Gods above, love, I wish you didn’t make me tell you these things.”

She pushed the tin toward Lup.

“It’s yours,” she said, and kissed her forehead. “It’s always been yours, and your brothers. You don’t need to tell me some story about Luskan. You asked him to take you to Neverwinter, and Magnus is as keen to get out of here as you. I’m not stupid, girly. I know.”

Lup looked up at her. “Are you angry?”

“No, I suppose not.” She snapped the lid onto the tin. “I’ll just... _miss you_ , is all. Terribly.”

Lup stood and took Auntie into her arms, kissing her temple. “I’ll miss you, too,” she said. “But I’ve got to find him. And I’ve got to make sure he’s okay.”

Auntie nodded. “I know you do.” She clasped Lup tighter to her.

“I know.”

The days until they were set to go passed slowly. Lup baked like mad, trading loaves of bread for bits of things they’d need. Two weeks in, most of town knew they were leaving -- hard to keep things like that a secret.

Two nights before they were set to go, Lup reached into a brown bag and pulled out a pair of boots, setting them on the kitchen table.

Magnus stared.

Lup wrung her hands. “...Are they alright?”

Magnus reached out, tapping the sides before turning them over and knocking his knuckles against the soles. He set them back on the table, looked at her, and grinned.

“Best damn boots I’ve ever seen,” he said, and stood from the table to get ready for bed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lyrics and chapter title from "goodbye" by apparat, with soap&skin


	2. this bitter earth (magnus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus glanced down at Lup as she looked up at him.
> 
>  _Is this okay?_ she seemed to ask.
> 
> Magnus gave her a quick smile, bringing his hand to her shoulder and drawing her close.
> 
> “It’s alright,” he said, and led them inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it continues. i hope you're enjoying it, i'm really loving reading it. thanks to marywhal for the edits.
> 
> also some people asked and, no, the final pam is not in this story. she doesn't quite mesh with the aesthetic, which is certainly a pity.

_and if my life is like the dust that hides the glow of a rose, what good am i?  
heaven only knows._

 

* * *

 

Her hair fell in a curtain in front of her face, and in his dream, Magnus reached out to part it, tuck it behind her ear and cup her cheek. She smiled, dark freckles even more pronounced in these months they’d spent traveling.

“It’s time to get up,” she said, even as she lay her head on his chest.

“Is it?” Magnus asked, and Julia laughed, toying with the hole in his t-shirt. “Maybe another ten minutes.”

“Sure,” she said, and closed her eyes.

Magnus felt that familiar hook pull on his gut, the one that reminded him that this wasn’t real, and as soon as he closed his eyes, as soon as he relented and admitted it was a dream, he --

“ _Magnus._ ”

He opened his eyes.

Lup was standing over him, her face twisted with concern.

Magnus sat up. “What time is it?”

“Just after sunrise. You said we shouldn’t linger here.” She moved to duck out of the tent, but turned around. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Just...been a long time since I slept on the ground.”

Lup didn’t look convinced, but she nodded and stepped outside the tent.

Magnus fell back and scrubbed his hands over his face.

... _Fuck._

 

* * *

 

They left home two days ago, laden down with what they’d need, though Magnus assured Lup there’d be places to stop where they could barter and trade.

“Trade what?”

“Skills, some of that bread.” He shrugged. “It won’t be too hard.”

She nodded. “And what about...about the bandits?”

“We’re sure to run into them,” he told her.

That’s when he gave her the pistol.

“I’ve never shot a gun before.”

“We’ll stop and practice. It’s not too hard.”

“...Right.” Lup looked at it inside the holster Magnus handed to her before buckling it around her waist. “And you’ve got...that,” she said, pointing at his rifle. “Damn, Magnus.”

“It’s for our protection.”

“I don’t want to shoot anyone.”

He put a hand on her shoulder. “You might have to.”

She’d grown more comfortable wearing it since then, but had refused him both times when he asked if she wanted to practice. Magnus shot the rabbit they ate on his own. Lup wouldn’t fire a shot.

That morning, after the dream, Magnus staggered out of the tent and began packing up. Lup looked over at him from where she was organizing her bag.

“You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah,” he said, rolling the tent up and attaching it to the top of his bag. “I’m good.”

Lup stood, hiking her bag over her shoulder. “I don’t believe you.”

“Well. Tough.” Magnus looked up. “We’re wasting time,” he said.

They left the campsite and began another day of walking. Most of it was spent in silence -- Lup asked questions here and there about different plants she saw, or strange animals. There was a lizard, green and yellow with a blue mouth and white tongue, that Magnus yanked Lup away from when she got too close.

“Nasty bite,” he said.

But there were other things -- something like a crow with a yellow underbelly. The rabbits were leaner, but bigger, and there was a coyote that stalked them for over an hour that afternoon, making Lup nervous.

“Is he--”

“He’s alone,” Magnus said. “Just curious. I can scare him off if you want--”

“No,” she said quickly. “If he’s just watching that’s...that’s fine.” She kept her eye on it, and after a while seemed to enjoy being able to find it in the hills and bramble on their left. Eventually it vanished.

“Does everything out here travel alone?” she asked as they stopped for water and food.

“Dunno. Sometimes the coyotes travel in packs.”

Lup looked up at a small finch that landed in the spindly palo verde next to them. “I can tell you’re not from anywhere around here,” she said.

“How?”

“The words you say. You drop that _e_ in coyote. Caught a _warsh_ the other day.” She looked back at him and smiled. “Just little things.”

Magnus ducked his head and laughed. “Yeah, you caught me.” He stood and brushed the dust from his pants. “We should keep going,” he said, and reached out to help her up.

The chatter flowed a bit freer after that. Magnus answered little questions about where he was from --  “Little place called Fort Aran.” -- and where he’d learned how to make and fix things.

“My dad,” he said. “He was a master craftsman.”

“Wow. Fancy title.”

“He was good at what he did.” Magnus squinted against the sun for a second and stopped. “Hold on,” he said.

“What?”

“I see something.” He put a hand over his eyes and peered closer. It was a house, he realize, way in the distance. A house and a bit of fencing. Probably an old farm property.

“Magnus--”

“It’s a farmhouse, I think.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.” He looked at her. “We’ve got plenty of walking to do, but we can stop and check it out if you want to.”

Lup considered this. Magnus almost told her to forget it, they’d just bypass the whole thing, but she said quickly, “Let’s stop.”

“...Alright then.” They started walking again. The silence was back, and now Magnus found he had a certain distaste for it. He liked hearing her talk.

After a few minutes of this Magnus said quietly, “Julia used to tease me about some of the things I said, too.”

Lup glanced up. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. But she said _bolth_ , so I always something on her, too.”

Lup’s expression fell. “Auntie says _bolth_.”

Magnus felt guilt hit him hard. Not for the first time he wondered if he could have convinced her just to stay home. If his own desire to go, go, _go_ was too great a thing and would wind up hurting them both.

But she wouldn’t have stood for it, if he tried to talk her into going back now. He knew this about her.

So instead, he reached down and took her hand in his. Lup looked up, surprised.

“She’s going be fine,” he said.

Lup didn’t say anything. But she didn’t let go of his hand, either.

 

* * *

 

The closer they got to the farmhouse, the more abandoned it began to look. Magnus wondered if it was even safe to stop at all -- there were _things_ that moved into houses like these, and he wasn’t keen on this being Lup’s first shooting lesson. But the more they saw of it, the more eager Lup became, thrilled to do something different after days of walking and camping.

“Maybe we’ll find something.”

“Probably just bugs,” Magnus said.

“Big ones?”

“Yeah,” he said absently. “Big ones.” He slowed their pace as they drew closer. “You stay just behind me.”

“I’ve got a gun--”

“That you’ve never shot before in your life. This isn’t about whether you can’t do something, you understand? It’s about making sure we don’t get shot at--”

“But there’s nothing--”

Magnus spun around. “You don’t _know_ that,” he said. “You can _never_ know that. Anything out here can kill you, do you understand?”

Lup dug in. “Don’t, Magnus. Don’t start this.”

Magnus ground his teeth, but he turned back and kept going toward the house, readying his rifle. He looked back and saw Lup taking the pistol from its holster.

“Safety off,” he said, and heard the click. “And don’t point it at me.”

“Fair enough,” she said.

Magnus shook his head.

The place was deserted. Whatever had once been growing in the meager garden was dried up and gone. There was an empty field he could see as they approached, and the fencing was beginning to fall apart. But that wasn’t what caught Magnus’s eye.

“Holy shit,” Lup said. “Magnus--”

“I see ‘em.”

There were three bodies lying in the yard, a hole blown in each of their chests. Magnus swallowed. Pretty recently dead, he noted. Probably earlier that day. That unsettled him. He turned to Lup and was about to say, “We should just keep moving,” when the door to the house swung open, and a woman stepped out with a gun in her hand.

“ _Don’t. Move,_ ” she said.

Magnus aimed his gun at her without hesitating. She stepped closer.

“Back up!” she shouted.

Magnus scowled. “ _You_ back up!”

“You wanna go the same way as your friends? Fine, get closer. I don’t have a problem with it.”

Magnus looked over at the bodies again. They were all dressed similar, probably from the same group of bandits or whatever they preferred to be called. He glanced back at the woman -- lithe, dark skin, with a heap of white hair piled on top of her head.

She had a look he _knew_. She’d pulled the trigger on those men. Magnus had no reason to believe she wouldn’t do the same to him.

“...Okay,” he said, and lowered his gun. “Okay.”

Lup grabbed his wrist.

The woman on the step seemed to falter for a moment, just as a man came running out from behind her, breathing heavy. “ _Lucretia!_ Lucretia, put the gun down.”

“Barry, go back inside.”

“They’re not _with them!_ Look--”

“Barry, _go back inside._ ”

But Barry stayed, reaching up to put a hand on Lucretia’s shoulder. “Come on,” he said. “No more killing. Not today.”

Lucretia glanced at him. She was still tense, but what Barry said had done the trick. She lowered her gun and looked at Magnus. “Who are you?”

He stepped closer, bringing Lup with him with a hand on her back. “I’m Magnus Burnsides,” he said. “This is my wife, Lup.”

“Your wife.”

“Yeah.”

Lucretia sighed. “I guess you want to come in, don’t you?”

Lup nodded. “We’d appreciate it,” she said.

Lucretia gestured for them to follow. “Alright,” she said. “Get in, quick. Sun’s about to go down.”

Magnus glanced down at Lup as she looked up at him.

 _Is this okay?_ she seemed to ask.

Magnus gave her a quick smile, bringing his hand to her shoulder and drawing her close.

“It’s alright,” he said, and led them inside.

 

* * *

 

Lucretia leaned her gun against the wall in the kitchen and turned to face them. “There isn’t much here,” she said. “But you’re welcome to it, if you’ve got something to trade.”

“I can bake,” Lup offered. She went to the fireplace. “Magnus, we brought that tin, I can bake something--” She trailed off, going to their things and rummaging around until she found the satchel of baking supplies they’d brought. Last minute, too. Magnus remembered what she’d said -- _Might be useful._

“You brought _yeast_ with you,” Lucretia said dryly.

Magnus shrugged. “She’s got a gift, what can I say?”

“Quaint. There’s a few rooms here, Barry’s got one, I’ve got another. You and your wife can have this one.” She pushed open the door. “It’s dusty, but it’ll--”

“It’s fine,” Magnus said. “So you and Barry--”

“He’s my brother,” Lucretia said quickly. “We’re traveling. Same as you.” She turned and stepped out of the room. “I’ll let you rest.”

Magnus waited until she’d gone down the hall before starting to strip down the bed. It was cleaner than he thought it might be, but he still pulled the mattress outside and beat the dust off of it for a while. Felt good to hit something even if it couldn’t hit back.

When Lup found him he was behind the house, hanging sheets on a makeshift line to dry.

“Aren’t you a pretty picture, Mr. Burnsides.”

Magnus turned to her. “You’ve got flour in your hair, Mrs. Burnsides.”

Lup laughed and pulled her curls out of their bun, shaking them out in the breeze. She eyed his handiwork. “Did you wash everyone’s?”

“Seemed like a nice thank you gift.” He turned over a couple of buckets he’d been using and they sat across from one another. “You alright?” Magnus asked.

“Yeah.” Lup glanced across the yard, to the expanse behind the fence. “You think those men she killed came from that way?”

“Could have.”

“...You think more will come?”

Magnus nodded. “There’s a chance.”

“I guess it’s like you said.” She looked into her lap. “Anything out here can kill us.”

Magnus reached for her. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“But it’s true, isn’t it?” Lup looked at him. “Lucretia could have done it. You know she was going to. She killed those men. She’d have killed you, too, Mags.”

Magnus blinked.

_You gotta be careful, Mags. You don’t have to take the big hits for both of us._

“...What’d you say?”

“I said she would have _killed you_ , Magnus.”

“...Right. Right, yeah.” He nodded and gave her hand a squeeze before standing to check on the sheets.

“Magnus--”

“We’re alive though, aren’t we?”

“...We are.” Lup stood. Magnus felt her hand on his shoulder, the touch drawing him back to her. “Hey,” she said, and reached up to cup his cheek. “You’re right. We’re alive. You did good today, you know that?”

“Dumb luck.”

“No, Magnus. You can read people, you’re good at that.” Lup pulled him in and kissed his forehead. “I’ll leave you to your laundry.” She smiled and started walking back to the house. At the door, though, she stopped, and turned to him. “You know something? Today was the first time you ever called me your wife.”

“I guess it was.”

“Yeah… Before it just… it felt like something we’d just agreed to, you know? But out here, you can say it. And that makes it real.”

“I suppose it does.”

Lup shrugged. “Just… something I hadn’t thought about,” she said, and went back into the house.

Magnus turned back to his clothesline.

It’d been a long time since someone had called him _Mags._

 

* * *

 

That night, Magnus pitched about in bed until Lup kicked him hard in the shin and said crossly, “Walk it off, Burnsides.”

Magnus hefted himself up and left her alone.

When he went into the kitchen, he expected to have it to himself, but Lucretia was sitting at the table, reading a book by lamplight.

“Uh, sorry. I’ll go somewhere else.”

“It’s fine.” She put her bookmark between the pages and set it on the table. “You can sit. I’ve been meaning to talk to you anyway.”

“...Alright.” Magnus believed it. He’d felt her gaze on him all day, watching and cataloging, like she was trying to _see_ something. He settled in the chair across from her.

She stood and went over to one of the bags in the kitchen. “Whiskey?”

“ _Shit_ , do you have some?”

Lucretia produced a bottle and two small glasses.

“Yes, _please._ ” Magnus took one of the glasses and held it out as she filled it, then her own. She sat back down.

“A toast, maybe?”

“Yeah.” Magnus smiled. “To making it through today.”

Lucretia winced as she took a sip. “I’m sorry about this morning. I pointed a _gun_ at you, _gods_ \--”

“You’d have been a fool not to,” Magnus said. “You did what you had to do. And, to be fair, I did the same.”

“I suppose.” Lucretia wet her thumb in her glass and slid it along the rim, producing a gentle ringing tone. “Barry isn’t my brother,” she said. “We aren’t family at all.”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me--”

“I’m telling you my truth, Magnus--” She looked up. “Because I expect you to do the same.”

He watched her take another drink, then cautiously did the same. She stared at him, now, and Magnus wasn’t sure what else to do under her gaze other than _speak._

“You mean about Lup.”

“Yes.”

“We’re married,” he said. “We’ve been married a month.”

“That’s not a lie,” Lucretia said.

“No it’s not.” Magnus downed his drink. “You thought it was?”

“I assume most things people tell me these days are lies, Magnus. You can understand why.”

“Because it’s so easy to lie yourself?”

She nodded. “That’s one reason.”

Magnus sighed. “Well, we _are_ married, and that is the truth. But I suppose if you want all of it, I can’t keep it from you. Lup’s got a bigger conscience than me, so she’s liable to tell you anyway.” He put his arms on the table and leaned forward. “I care for Lup a great deal. She’s important to me, and I made her certain promises that I need to keep. We got married _to keep_ those promises. There’s no...big grand future for us, right now. If she wants to go, then she’s free to go. The only things in this world that say we’re married are a piece of paper we signed in a town with no name, and the two of us. And so long as she’s happy to say it, then so am I.”

Lucretia considered him. “A marriage of convenience, then.”

“A partnership,” Magnus said. “We look out for one another.”

“But you...care for her.”

“In my way, yes.”

Lucretia mimicked his pose, leaning forward on the table. “And what way is that, Magnus?”

He dropped his gaze. She was hard to look at, he felt like he _had_ to tell her everything, like he needed to start at the beginning.

Instead of that, though, he said quietly, “I’d do anything for her.”

Silence.

Then, Lucretia made a noise -- soft, mournful almost. “Anything?” she asked. He understood, now, that she believed him.

Magnus looked up and nodded. “Yeah. Anything.”

 

* * *

 

They parted in the hall, standing opposite one another in front of their respective rooms. Lucretia spoke in a low voice about how long they’d been traveling, how hard it had been.

“We’re going to Neverwinter,” she explained. “That’s where you’re headed, too, isn’t it?”

Magnus nodded. “Lup’s brother lives there. We’re going to find him.”

Lucretia smiled. “That’s very far from where you came from, isn’t it?”

“It is.”

“Your nobility seems to know no end, Mr. Burnsides.”

Magnus caught her wrist as she turned to go into her room. “Hey,” he said, and she looked at him. “Just...Magnus. Call me Magnus, okay?”

“...Alright.” She slipped out of his grip easy. “Goodnight, Magnus.”

“Goodnight,” he said, as the door shut after her.

In his own room, he crawled into bed, careful not to bother Lup. She didn’t move -- only took a deep breath and rolled over.

Magnus carefully brushed the curls from her face. He hadn’t lied to Lucretia. He’d do anything for Lup.

Cross this expanse of wasteland.

Marry her and teach her to shoot.

Magnus closed his eyes. He wondered if he should wake her, tell her what he’d been aching to to since she’d found him in the yard earlier.

“...Lup?”

She said nothing. Magnus laughed at himself.

And even though it was a risk just to even _think_ it, Magnus figured -- there’d be time later, to tell her.

All the time in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lyrics and chapter title from "this bitter earth" by dina washington.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr @ weatheredlaw


End file.
